Isn't this flying pig cute? Her name is Wanda and I created her for my initial Gillygaloofus website. For those of you who don't know, I'm also a graphic designer and my company was called Gillygaloofus Design Studio, (such a cheerful name, don't you think?).
Anyway, when I started my company in 2008 I was pretty down about myself. I'd been working for a company for 7 years and they suddenly let me go due to economic issues. I hadn't done anything wrong, my work was great, but I was still out of a job and feeling a bit lost. It was a huge loss to me because my job was very creative, and I was constantly having to come up with designs and ideas for all different kinds of things. It was the job of a lifetime because it offered me so much scope. I realize now that it was a blessing to be let go because I probably would have spent the rest of my career working for someone else and watching them take the credit for my creativity. Now, I'm not saying that my boss stole my work or anything, it's more like you're the invisible person in the background and the company gets the credit, not the artist. It's just the way things are in the business world.
So, when I started my own company I wanted a mascot that made me feel like I could do what seemed impossible to me at the time, be my own person. Hence Wanda was born!
Pigs flying is one of those impossible things, and kind of ranks up there with "when Hell freezes over." The thought that I could run my own business seemed to me as likely as pigs flying and hell freezing.
As things turned out I ended up doing graphic design for about 10 years. I wouldn't say that I was a raging success, (it's a tough business), but as it turned out it was a positive experience. At the time I think I was trying to replace my old job, but it was actually a good thing that it didn't end up that way.
I've spent a lot of my life devaluing who I am and what I can do. I don't blame anyone for that, I think it's a personality trait that I struggle with. I also know that there are a lot of you out there who struggle with the same thing.
Now that I've gotten older I've begun to realize that I spent way too much time worrying about what other people thought and what other people said to me and what other people thought I should do. I've learned to make my own decisions and do what I think is right for me, and if I make a mistake, hey, I'm a big girl, I can handle it.
The last thirteen years have been full of big changes. Sometimes when I think back I have to remind myself of the many positive things that have happened. In many ways it can be discouraging to look back and think you haven't accomplished enough, but I've learned to look at it differently. The fact is that there are many things in life that are out of our control. There's only so much you can do about the "drive bys" of life. Actually, all you can do is deal with them. So, if you look back and see that you've made some progress towards your goals, and that at the very least you've survived to fight another day. Hey, that's something to be proud of!
The point I want to make to all of you out there who are struggling with feelings of inadequacy at anything you do, whether it's your cooking or your quilting, let it go! If you enjoy what you are doing and you aren't hurting anyone else, then go for it. Don't let the Quilt Meanies get you down, ignore those family members and so called friends that put you down, and surround yourself with people who are nurturing and supportive, people that you can nurture and support in return.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the state of our country and the world and it's occurred to me that there seem to be more "takers" than "givers." If you only ever take, then you're missing the other part of the equation, the giving part. That makes you only half the person you should be. Those of us who try to give and take in more equal measure live happier lives and are better adjusted. Taking without giving leaves an emptiness in the soul. And those who only give and never take also have to make an adjustment. If you never let others give to you, you deny them the pleasure of giving. It's the cycle of give-and-take that makes relationships work.
Happy Stitching!
Susan
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